


You Looked At Death in a Tarot Card and You Saw What You Had to Do

by Rain_drops_keep_falling_on_my_head



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Lance (Voltron)-centric, Langst, One Shot, Sad with a Happy Ending, Short One Shot, also i cant title for shit so how some lyrics, also summary should have italics but i have no idea how to do that, can be shippy, character death but not really, enjoy a pile of whump, first fic on this site whoot whoot, from P!ATD's Dying in LA, insp. by piano of Dying in LA, ish, its only mentioned, more like hope, only if you squint tho - Freeform, really short about 1k, so please bear with me, we'll see how this goes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-02
Updated: 2018-07-02
Packaged: 2019-06-01 11:45:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15142373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rain_drops_keep_falling_on_my_head/pseuds/Rain_drops_keep_falling_on_my_head
Summary: It’s not their fault, another part of him reasons, you’ve never said a wordBut Allura could have, she was there, she saw it. She could’ve said but she hasn't- she hasn’t- just went straight to Shiro like he’s some kind off-Don’t you dare. His inner voice says, He deserves that treatment and you know it. You are no better.I know, Lance thinks, But am I any worse?





	You Looked At Death in a Tarot Card and You Saw What You Had to Do

It stung.

 

Those were the only words Lance could bring himself to think.

 

It stung.

 

He sat alone in his dark room, lit only by the weak light of the soft fluorescent emergency bulbs that lined every castle wall. He sat with his back to the door and his head in his hands, shaking. 

 _I don’t get it_ , he thought, _Are we not friends_?

 

 _It’s not their fault_ , another part of him reasons, _you’ve never said a word_

 

_But Allura could have, she was there, she **saw** it. She could’ve said but she hasn't- she hasn’t- just went straight to Shiro like he’s some kind off-_

 

 _Don’t you dare_. His inner voice says, _He deserves that treatment and you know it. You are no better._

 

 _I know_ , Lance thinks, _But am I any worse?_

 

No response.

Lance clenched his fist, gave a silent hic and resigned himself to the salty tears trailing down his face.

_Am I really so undeserving?_

 

 _...Perhaps_ , said his inner, _but remember what you promised_.

 

Right. His promise to himself and to his team.

_I won’t be weak. I won't be useless. I’ll be more than just a seventh wheel._

Some days, he feels like he’s succeed, others, that he hasn’t.  
Lance hasn’t has a success in months. But even so, He’ll continue as he always has, with his chin up and smirk, doing his best to face the world one intergalactic problem at a time.

He just hopes he doesn't break in the process

(And if eyes dim just a little bit further with every passing day, every botched mission, and every loney moment, if he laughs just a touch to loud at an unfunny joke or smiles a little too thin- well, that's okay. It’s not like people will notice anyway. He’s fine.)  
(He’s not)

It wasn’t until Lance heard a knock on the door that his thoughts came to a screeching halt, and Lance had a momentary panic as he realised that he was far less them presentable. Quickly, and as quietly as he could, Lance ran to his bed and pulled the covers over his head.

“I know you’re awake,” a soft voice -Keith- said. “Are you alright?”

Lance paused, frozen. He stared at the wall in front of him, his brain still a little wired from the earlier panic, and just. Stopped. Because what the hell was he doing, staying up in the middle of the night crying and running to his bed, hiding like a guilty man. Who was he to bemoan his woes when there were things to do, work to finish. He may not a genius engineer like Pidge or Hunk but he still had a use damn it and he can’t afford to believe otherwise because in the moments that he does he completely shuts down and he can't afford that-

“Lance?”

Ah, right. He’d forgotten about Keith. Slowly, Lance pulls down the covers, and turns to face him. He had options, he knows. He could smile and say he was fine, that he was just tired, sorry it took so long to answer, what did ya need mullet? He had a million and one white lies he could say all designed to ward others off and give him space. He could do it, but somehow, when he opened his mouth to do so, he found himself going with option two.

“No.” He said. “I died.” Keith looked.. Shocked. Confused. Worried? Lance wasn’t sure, choosing to simply watch in fascination as Keith’s face went through a slur of emotions, likely corresponding with his thoughts.

 _Huh_ , he thought, _I never thought I’d see the day where I could actually see him think._

Keith’s face finally settled on a light, slightly cold understanding. “Allura did the same thing to you that she did to Shiro, didn’t she? In that moment, when Hunk said both of your lines went dead.”

A small, aborted shrug, and then a nod. Keith inhaled slightly, before crossing the room and closing the door behind him out of curiosity, Lance sat up, and watch as Keith came towards the best and sat next to him, his arms lifted and spread, as if asking silent permission. Lance hesitated, a bit, before he decided that honesty got him this far so he might as well throw caution out the window, and found himself hugging Keith of all people. Keith, the man who had been gone for two years and who brushed him aside the moment he returned in favor of his brother who was on danger. (which Lance didn’t fault him for, he’d do the same for his) It boggled his mind, and couldn't help but let out a soft, slightly hysterical snort. Keith leaned back and raised an eyebrow. Lance tried to wave it away, by the eyebrow only climbed higher, so Lance just rolled his eyes, a small smile on his face, and said his thoughts out loud.

“Kinda ironic, huh?” Lance had said. “You of all people.”

Keith frowned a bit, before saying “I suck at words, and this whole people thing, but I do care. We are friends, Lance. That’s what being teammates is. It’s what being a paladin is.”

“Ah.” was Lance’s only response. A little shocked and a little speechless, and Keith had simply huffed at him before pulling Lance closer to resume the hug.

He’s right, Lance thought, We’re not friends because were paladins, we’re paladins because we’re friends. And isn’t that a surprise, compared to how we began. Lance smiled again, this time able to suppress his giggle entirely, but he was pretty sure Keith could still feel his smile, considering he’d buried his head into Keith’s shoulder in order to suppress his giggle. Still, Keith didn’t comment, didn’t move, and Lance gladly took advantage of Keith’s now bigger frame to wrap himself up and take all the comfort he needed, all the comfort that Keith gladly gave.

That night Lance slept better than a baby, and if in the morning Keith was sleeping right next to him, still being used as a life-sized body pillow while hogging all the blankets, well. Neither paladin minded, and Lance was just happy he’d found someone that he’d call a true friend

 _I’m fine_. He thought, and for once, he meant it.


End file.
